SO HERE'S WHERE I'M AT RIGHT NOW...


I am working in a job that has only given me one shift this week, I quit my other job which was giving me 5 days a week to do this current job because I knew I'd like it more.
I have been going out every night on no money, I have a credit card bill at around $1600 which looks impossible to pay off at this point in time.
I really need to sort my shit out and get some stability!

no more raging?
fuck.

ANOTHER AWESOME WEEKEND

had by me...

Friday - I call in sick to work because really, i just couldn't be fucked with it that day, I make my way to Matt's we drive to Manly, I eat shitty Thai, we played, it was fun, i puked later on.

Saturday - Slept til early afternoon, went to get beers, drank said beers got picked up by Jenna, went to newcastle, drank more.
watched the show, HOLLOW was awesome and Brods and Antag killed it.
show ended, we partied til stupid hours of the morning.
the girls bailed because Kat was retardedly drunk so me ollie and aaron walked to maccas and got some burgers and then walked to kats house where everyone slept except me and ashleigh cause we were talking about dumb shit all night.

Sunday - we sit there bitching about why gloria jeans isn't open yet, it opens, we head down there, my name for gloria jeans is now "Barbara" i grab a mocha, it ruled.
we chill at the house for a while before we head down to embassy for amazing $5 breakfast, which pretty much went straight through me, (fried eggs, bacon, chips, tomatoes and thick cut toast... amazing!)
we pretty much head home after that and i go to my new job and get my shifts and im siked and then i fall asleep until 11pm and here we are now writing a blog.
god, i'm a fuckwit.
i can't wait to quit my cunt-hole of a job tomorrow, fuck yes.\

HERE WE ARE EATING $5 EMBASSY BREAKFAST.



ON TUESDAY MY BAND IS PLAYING IN A LIVING ROOM WITH A HALFPIPE IN IT, SHOULD BE FUN.
this should be a good week.

HUGE WEEKEND WAS HUGE.

Here's a comment I left on my friend Prue's myspace about what happened after the No Apologies show on Saturday (well it was actually 2 comments because it wouldn't fit into one)

It all starts at the Lansdowne with a bourbon and coke and an Important phone call i have to make...

Sooo I ran down to Newtown to go to the pizza shop only to get there and everyone's finished.
proceeded to walk back, ran into you.
I then said goodbye to Ashlee and Dan and made my way to the disgusting Trash, On my way to trash, my phone dies so i'm pretty much fucked for meeting up with anyone. Got to trash hung out for about an hour, saw some friends i didn't expect to see.
got bored so I jumped in a taxi to oxford street, by this time my phone was working for a couple of minutes at a time so i called Gabe from Jungle Fever Fame, however he didn't answer so here i am thinking i'm fucked for something to do but then he messaged me telling me everyone was downstairs at oxford arts so i went there with my friend and they said the cover charge is $20 and i was like "what the fuck??" but i thought "hey, if people i know are down there and they paid it, who am i to not pay it?" so i went in and went to pay the cover charge and then i get told there's a free bar as well so i head down there and there everyone is...
SO we drink and party for hours and the saying of the night is "I'm not gay, I just like to party!" which was said to anyone who walked past.
We got to see Dolan breakdance against this lesbian chick who was a very average breakdancer, she ended up getting booed out of the circle. I ended up leaving at 5:30 and caught a taxi to my friends hotel and crashed on the floor for about 2 hours, woke up with a fucked up hangover, i puked a whole bunch of times, one of which in the middle of the street while walking around sydney. Went and got an amazing scrambled eggs and bacon breakfast, drank an assload of water and felt alot better also my friend let me take his full battery and keep it in my phone and he kept my empty battery (good dude).

(start of comment 2)
So i departed from my mates and went to town hall station to wait for a train to go to kogarah and i go to get on the train and a guy says to me "what the fuck are you looking at?" and punches me in the eye (this is at midday as well not some fucked up hour of the morning)
this dude was also on ice or something and a lot bigger than me so i told him to fuck off and get the fuck away from me and i got on the train, he gets on too. i bail away from him and he pretty much follows me and abuses the old man sitting behind me and says "you're an old bloke so im not going to hit you but i'm gonna fucking kill you!" the dude just walks away and the old man is sitting there shocked, i told the old coupe what happened to me and they asked me about my night last night etc. somehow we get on to religion and they tell me they were coming home from church and they tell me god loves me and the lady gives me a booklet about jesus and tells me they are going to pray for me.

i went to see homewrecker and carpathian after that.
i get home at 10:30pm that night.
and i didn't go to work today cause i didn't feel like it.

pretty awesome weekend all in all.
(end of comments)


there's a more detail but i really couldn't be fucked to type it all.

A FEW DAYS DIFFERENCE.

I WANTED TO POST THIS ON THURSDAY BUT MY INTERNET WOULDN'T WORK

my eyes are red and watery, continuous rubbing isn't helping.
My lungs are shit.
My brain hurts.

It's time I stopped, stop the bullshit, stop everything I need to stop.
No more procrastination.
One full day without.

I just want to be happy.
I get a 20 minute window every now and then.

BUT...

RIGHT NOW I FEEL PRETTY FUCKING GOOD.


My eyes are good, my lungs feel great and my head doesn't hurt.
I stopped procrastinating and I'm feeling happier.
A few improvements need to be made but for the most part I'm doing okay.
I still love the 20 minute windows though. I got my first car yesterday and I'm so fucking excited, I know this is something you're supposed to get excited about at 16/17 but I've never been in the position to own my own car, well I guess I have been and I just had different priorities. This car in particular was owned by my great grandfather who recently passed away that being the reason that I own it now.
My job still sucks though and when I think about it I feel sad, hopefully better days will arrive soon.
Saturday I was a mess and I'm sorry Ashlee, I hope I was entertaining enough for you.

Tomorrow will define my routine.

Como estas, Bitches!

I've been sitting on my ass for 7 days now.
For 4 of those days I was just chillin'
the past 3 I have been trying to find work.
I'm not a picky person when it comes to working a shit job,
I just don't want to work with food anymore and hey, if I can get away from customers while I'm at it I'll take that too.
Sadly, finding those awesome jobs isn't a reality for me.
I have an Interview tomorrow for selling shit over the phone, I actually can't wait to see what it's like to be abused by people I can't even see.

I was about to go to the library before I got offered the interview, dammit.
I need to read more, I need to Internet less, I need to write more, I need to care less.

I'll let you know how I go. But as if you care, right?


p.s.
When I feel that coming tension, I want to run in your direction. Panics got me by the collar,
I need to go your way. If it feels right, I'm gonna stay out tonight. Cut the tension, cut right through, I'm coming straight for you.


p.p.s. As I was writing out the lyrics to that amazingly uplifting song I got a phone call offering me another interview, although this one's in Sydney, Psyched on another interview but not psyched on Sydney traveling.

Inconsiderate me.

Dear Rosemary,
I'd like to fade away, so wipe the me away from your diary.
suicide whispers, in my ear and it happens a lot around here.
when I said, before our sleep not to wake me if you left.
well I'm awake and your not here and I'm better off dead.
this is my last love letter to you.
It's not a stunt, I'm well aware were through. When you think of me, remember better times.
Cause I've grown to be quite selfish when i cry.
Inconsiderate me...
"Sitting at home for the afternoon, don't wanna go outside. Sick of sun soaked concrete streets, close the blinds id rather hide, because the ghost in me is out of key from never keeping love. Sick of pale white bedroom sheets, close your eyes so i can die..."
you were my spine, my crutch, my breathe, my sight, my life, my death, my all.
You were my hope, my fear, my love, my fear, my love, my fear, my fall.
I can't do this without you.
I've tried, I cant, I'm gone,
Sincerely yours...

home.

i've been home for 6 days.
i'm so fucking bored.
i don't have a job and i'm in a cuntload of debt.
i don't even want to look for one.

maybe one will find me? hopefully.

i'm also a terrible person, i should return to bushwick where nothing matters and everything here seems paused.

i want to be in my own ham on rye.
i want to read my own diary of things that haven't happened yet.

stockholm and central.

PRETTY MUCH THE END OF THE LINE.

Right now i'm currently chillin' in Al Brown's couch, the place i've called home for the last 5 days.

I fly out of LAX tomorrow at 9pm.

I'm so excited to be going back home to my own bed and to see my friends and family but at the same time i'm bummed about going back to the real world and having to get another job and just not being HERE anymore.

I've met some of the most awesome people on this trip, who within minutes of knowing me have offered places to stay and just been awesome dudes/girls to be able to hang out with so this trip wasn't so lonely at  times.

I only hope to get to keep in contact with these people because (i need a places to crash next time i'm here haha) never seeing/hearing from them again would be a massive bum-out.

Thanks a whole heap to 

Rory  for organising this trip in the first place.

Brandi, Kiki and Charissa, LA fucking sucks but it sucked less getting to hang out with you guys.

Kris, Danny, Logan & Tim, New York wouldn't have been half as fun without you guys even though you only took me to vegan restaurants and i'm sick of the sight of you and it'll have to be at LEAST 12 months before i'm ready to hang out with you guys again since i saw you so fucking often but i'm eternally grateful to the 4 of you for putting up with my bullshit for 2 months.

Chris from Long Island! i only met you on my last week in NY but you made for fun fucking times for that last week, definitely hangin' again  when i come back!

And last but not Least Al, even though i think you're a cunt for not replying to emails ever you're also a fucking awesome dude for letting me hang on your couch for a week and for saying the most fucked up shit ever.

Anyway, i've missed a bunch of shit because i never had my own computer while i've been here and i'm also really, really fucking LAZY.

*i started writing this last night then i went to sleep and now i'm back at it*

I woke up a couple of hours ago and i just ate an average burrito.

so back to it, i'll try to recap a bunch of shit that i've done  over the last 3 or 4 weeks ...

come to think of it there's  really not that much to tell, which saddens me a bit because i feel like a wasted my time here, i could've been more active in seeing stuff but i decided that sleeping, playing video games and eating was way more important.

things that stood out were...

Brooklyn - I FUCKING LOVE IT, anyone going to the US should try to stay in Brooklyn because for the most part it's  a pretty chill place, i mean not as chill as the suburbs but chiller than Manhattan.

There's a few sketchy parts of Brooklyn but it's pretty easy to avoid those and also the amount you'll pay for accomodation will be a million times cheaper than manhattan unless you wanna stay in Harlem, but that's entirely up to you.

Food -  I ate alot of vegetarian and vegan food while i was in NY because my roommates were vegan so i'm pretty clued up on the vegan places, i wish i was more clued up on the regular food.

2 places that come to mind though are Chipotle and Moe's 2 of the best mexican places EVER.

and can't forget 'Snice amazing vegan sandwiches.

FUCK i feel like i should've been doing this every couple of days.

there's so much shit i want to put in but can't remember.

I SAW A MILLION DIFFERENT BANDS.

i dont think i could even name half the bands i've seen!

on that note Generation Records is fucking awesome, i spent way too much time and money there.

i give up, fuck this.

im trying to do this shit on someone else's mac, which is making my life really fucking difficult.

i promise in a couple of days this will look spectacular.

it's all over i'm going home, PEACE.

  

CONEY ISLAND!

This place fucking rules.
I feel sorry for anyone who never got to see it as today was the last day Coney Island will ever really be Coney Island.
So some motherfuckers bought out most of the carnival part of C.I. and are redeveloping that shit into something new, something not so Coney Island.
I saw a freakshow while i was there, some dude with a fake moustache nailed a massive nail into his nostril, a pretty cute girl swallowed some swords and then tricked each person in the crowd into giving her a dollar to see how she does a trick.
A dude who was born with lobster hands pretended to hammer his hands (with gloves with fake fingers on) and then did a comedy act, then some chick danced with a snake and lit a flame with her tongue then a good looking girl with crazy face tribal ate and breathed fire.
shit was pretty decent for $7.50.






also in other news i went to a dance party club thing the other night and walked through heavy ass rain to get there, i got really fucking drunk and danced like a fruitcake.
i wish i had photos.
gabe delaine told me to come, fucking queer.

google and blogger, teaming up to piss me off.

why make it so fucking hard for me to log in?

for fuck's sake.

I'm too annoyed to even bother with this now.

I live in brooklyn in an apartment with 3 dudes from florida.

they pretty much took us in off the street when we met them after we got off the bus from DC.

we told them we'd be staying in Bedford-Stuyvesant (Bed-Stuy for short). At first they laughed then showed actual concern for our safety.

The first night we get here i get really really reeaaaalllly fucking drunk and while i'm standing in their bathroom at the sink i somehow manage to fall into their bathtub taking a bunch of shit down with me, one thing being a bottle of GIO cologne. I freak the fuck out thinking i've broken someone's cologne who i haven't even met yet on my first night in this place.

great first impression.

2 days later i meet the 3rd housemate who's cologne it was supposed to be and the first thing i say is "Hey i'm AJ, i think i broke something of yours?"

Turns out it wasn't his and it was no big deal.

Anyway 2 of the dudes are vegan and one of them is vegetarian, so most of the shit we've been eating has been animal friendly except when we get fed up and get 1/3 pounder burgers with bacon from McDonald's (that's right i said 1/3 pounder, not 1/4 pounder, 1/3 pounder.) This really is 'land of the free, home of the obese' it's no wonder why i fit in so well here.

For most of the time we've been here our days have started at 3pm and finish at about 4am and for some reason it doesn't make a difference, i feel like drinking right now.

i'll add more to this shit later.

bye.

  

 

IM SO FUCKING TIRED. (I <3 PHILLY)

FUCFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

fuck apple, fuck macbooks.

i'm sitting on a disgusting carpet step at 3am  because thats the only time i can ever get peace on a computer. right now i can feel my skin starting to itch from the parasites that've probably inhabited the carpet since the beginning of time.

Now, before i start i just want to declare that apple are  bunch of cunts, and i also hate laptops.

most of this blog is going to contain terrible punctuation and grammar and spelling mistakes too.

reason being... i dont like typing, especially while sitting on stairs using a laptop.

Okay so it's sunday night, i'm in Philly. I fucking love this place.

This is hardcore was insane, my head hurts, my ears are still ringing and my legs are fucked.

I saw bands i don't give a shit about that people claim to LUUUURRRRVVVVEEE and those people will probably never see them and that gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.

I also got to see bands i didn't give a fuck about before but i very much do give a fuck about them now. (reign supreme/braindead)

i saw bands that i already enjoyed a little and enjoy that much more now.

and i also saw one band which i fucking love and it was probably the best part of the whole 3 days.

Anyway let's backtrack a little...

my first 2 days in new york fucking sucked(much like alot of this trip has, haha)

I get off a flight i slept all the way through to get to a shitty airport which i have to sit at for close to an hour waiting for a fucking shuttlebus which the cunt driver decided to overfill with passengers. I sit in this shuttle bus for 45 minutes getting driven to our hostel which we get to and the cunt at the desk tells us "oh sorry we didn't keep your reservation because there is something wrong with the internet". 

i'm sorry bitch but that's not my fucking problem.

anyway she sends us packing... TO A HOTEL SHE FOUND IN THE PHONEBOOK IN HARLEM!!

stupid bitch.

so we actually check in to this joint in harlem and realise that it's totally fucked so we grab all our valuables and leave our suitcases there and just bail out.

We proceed to chill in a starbucks for about 3 hours trying to find accomodation in nyc not worth a million dollars a night, luckily some friends of hours living in brooklyn hooked us up.

THANKS GUYS!

the next morning we went back to harlem to grab our shit.

By the way the hotel was called the "New Ebony Hotel" i should've fuckin' known.

Also just so you know, Brooklyn rules.

so after all that crazy shit we end up meeting up with Jack the next day and we made the awesome chinatown busride down to philly.

i am now carrying twice as many shirts as what i came with and 10 7"s, Fuck.

so thats NY and Philly so far i'll update in a few days.

p.s. for all you cold world hype sweaters, they live up to it, believe me.

me and jack at this is hardcore


The Stairs from Rocky


Massive statue dude with sick dudes hanging off him

THIS PLACE IS FREEZING.

San Francisco is really fucking cold, it's supposed to be fucking summer!!!
there are HEAPS of homeless people here and most people are crazy.
SF reminds me heaps of Sydney, i would probably love it if it weren't for the shitty weather.
on friday night i think i saw the best of the trip.
i saw dangers at 924 gilman st. holy fucking fuck.
probably the best band ive ever seen and probably always will be.
we got stranded in berkeley and this random dude named troy drove us home, what a stand-up fucking guy!!
last night i saw the smoking popes and i don't care for them so i just got drunk.
924 rules.

Dangers @ 924

Me Drunk @ Smoking popes in San Fran.



i've been taking about a million photos so when i can be bothered i'll upload some shit.

people who go to shows in the bay area are fucking awesome people.
by wearing an extortion shirt i met a handful of people who were actually really awesome.

shouts to Nick from 7Gen and Yosef for booking awesome bands.

anyway sorry this post doesnt really make sense and is short but i have to use a public computer, i hate this shit.

peace.
big fuckin' heart.


Free cans of energy drink

it's all too much.

i still don't like this city but it has been a non-stop party.
english,welsh and irish dudes are fucking ragers and i'm bummed to say goodbye to them.
hawaiin girls love to shop but hate to walk and it sucks saying goodbye to them.
getting to hang out with aussies here is awesome.

i only have 2 minutes left, in-n-out burger rules.

everyday is a constant hangover.

cheap dickies kills it.

baaaaiii.

DR. KNOW'S FUCKING SON!


Raging English Dudes


I met this dude at 4 o clock in the morning in the basement of the hostel and he's a fucking awesome guy.
Will.

I hate this city, i think i hate this country.

so i've decided americans are cunts.
fuck you, america. fuck you.

LA TOUR.

I SAW THE FRESH PRINCES HOUSE!
i went on an LA tour the other day and they showed us celebrity houses n' shit and they showed us the house used for "the fresh prince of Bel-Air". probably the tour highlight.
i also got a photo in front of the hollywood sign, a photo of the basketball courts on venice beach which you see edward norton playing basketball in American History X.
Venice Beach Rules.

i have been drinking like a fish over the past few days. my body doesnt like it.
Vans are $40 a pair, amazing.
Rodeo Drive is for assholes.
Hollywoood is filled with crazy people.
i cant wait to bail from the fuckhole.

bbl.
peace.

CALIFORNIA SUCKS.

We get to LAX it takes a million years to get through customs and once we do immediately im asked for money by someone. FUCK!

We had to catch 1000 buses with our luggage to get to the ghetto greyhound station and wait in line for 2 hours only to get told the greyhound we need to catch isnt coming for another 3 hours, Fuck my life.
We wander around ghetto downtown LA for 2 hours hating life and thinking "why the fuck did we come to this shitty city? FUCK LA"

Rory and I decide to get a taxi to where we need to go, $150 + tip later the fucking guy has dropped us off in the wrong street, we find the street we need to be on and realise the adress is 3500 and we're at the very start of the street. once again FUCK MY LIFE.
we walk for what seems like an hour and decide on a budget motel not far from where we need to be, we drop off our shit, change clothes and start walking again, we get to our destination where we see Black Breath (AWESOME!), Alpha and Omega (fucking killed it!) and RISE AND FUCKING FALL (WOW! JUST FUCKING WOW)

end of day 1.

p.s. im a bit behind i'll catch up soon.