Here is a Quiz I did on myspace recently.
One person appreciated my genius and we went on to have a conversation.
I asked her on a date to take the piss and she proceeds to tell me she has a boyfriend, she later gives me her number anyway, I won't call.


Start At The Bottom....................................................











IF TOM CRUISE KNOCKS ON MY DOOR IM NOT LETTING IN SO HE CAN JUMP UP AND DOWN ON MY COUCH LIKE A HUGE FAGGOT


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com

please note i do not currently have use of a computer
it's at the doctors getting de-trojaned
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: STRIP LIMBO
To: CASSANDRA.
Date: 17 Apr 2009, 04:21 PM
Subject: RE: my answers are pretty good.



ARE JESUS AND I GOING TO HAVE TO PUT A


SC IE NT OL OG Y


CUR SE ON Y OU?


msn plz?


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: CASSANDRA.
To: STRIP LIMBO
Date: 17 Apr 2009, 04:15 PM
Subject: RE: my answers are pretty good.



THANKS FOR BEING NICE
BUT YOU CAN CONTINUE BEING A DICK
I DONT/CHRIS WONT CARE
IF YOU EVER OFFENDED ME ID SIMPLY KICK YOU IN THE SHINS
REPEATEDLY

TOO BAD IF YOU DIDNT WANT MY NUMBER YOU UNAPPRECIATIVE SOD
YOUVE GOT IT NOW
DEAL WITH IT
CRY TO YOUR MATE JESUS ABOUT IT

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: STRIP LIMBO
To: CASSANDRA.
Date: 17 Apr 2009, 04:02 PM
Subject: RE: my answers are pretty good.


EVEN THOUGH I WAS SAYING IT JUST TO BE A DICK TO YOU
I WOULD NEVER HAVE SAID IT IF I KNEW CHOG WAS IN THE PICTURE,
THAT'S JUST DISRESPECTFUL!

WHAT IF I DON'T WANT YOUR NUMBER?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: CASSANDRA.
To: STRIP LIMBO
Date: 17 Apr 2009, 04:01 PM
Subject: my answers are pretty good.


NOT AS GOOD AS THE LAST ONE
STILL RATES THOUGH

04xx xxx xxx
WHY DONT I HAVE YOUR NUMBER


THIS DOESNT MEAN WE'RE DATING EITHER
----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: STRIP LIMBO
To:
Date: 17 Apr 2009, 12:34 PM
Subject: my answers are pretty good.


blah blah blah,
something unimportant...

But seriously, I actually get really excited when i see quizzes come up as bulletins.


POSSIMPOBILE.



Were you single on your last birthday?
FUCK NO, IF YOU DON'T HAVE A PARTNER ON YOUR BIRTHDAY YOU DON'T GET THAT ONE AWESOME "I LOVE YOU AND YOU BETTER GET ME SOMETHING JUST AS FUCKING AWESOME ON MY BIRTHDAY" PRESENT.



What was the last movie you watched?
LAST NIGHT FAST AND FOURIOUS. WELL, IT'S ACTUALLY CALLED FAST AND FURIOUS BUT WOULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN CLEVER OF THEM TO CALL IT FAST AND FOURIOUS SINCE IT'S LIKE, THE FOURTH ONE LOL.


Do you have a reason to smile right now?
OF COURSE, I'M FILLING OUT A MOTHERFUCKING QUIZ, I THINK ONLY ONE PERSON UNDERSTANDS HOW MUCH I ACTUALLY LOVE QUIZZES (ALSO HOW'S HOW I CLICKED ON MY iTUNES BEFORE I STARTED THE QUIZ AND IT TOOK UNTIL JUST NOW TO OPEN, THAT'S A BIT SHIT IN MY HONEST OPINION).


Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
FUCK YEAH, BITCH!
I WOULD GET THE YOUNGER ME SOOO MANY BABES.

i WOULD PULL SOMETHING LIKE "I'VE CAME BACK FORM THE FUTURE AND BLAH BLAH YOU HAVE TO HELP ME SAVE THE EARTH BY SLEEPING WITH THE YOUNGER VERSION OF ME"
PRETTY SURE BARNEY DID IT IN HIMYM SEASON 4.




Who is the last person on your received calls list?
JESUS, HE WAS INFORMING ME ABOUT A HOODIE SALE THAT WAS ON AND ALSO THE LATEST SCIENTOLOGY MEETING.



Would you marry for money?
ONCE AGAIN... FUCK YEAH, BITCH!
I NEED ME A SUGA MUMMA!
I'D WAX DAT BIG OL' ASS E'RY NIGHT FOR A BIT O' DAT CA$H!


Do you think you're wasting your time on the person you like?
THE REAL QUESTION IS...
IS THE PERSON I LIKE WASTING THEIR TIME ON ME?
WELL THAT ISN'T REALLY A RELEVANT QUESTION I SUPPOSE BECAUSE I HATE EVERYONE SO THERE'S NO TIME WASTING ON ANYONE'S PART.

OH, WAIT, I SUPPOSE I DON'T HATE EVERYONE, I MEAN THE LADY DOWN AT THE PETROL STATION IS PRETTY NICE AND I'VE NEVER HAD BEEF WITH ANYONE AT THE VIDEO STORE.



What's more important, trust or happiness?
"Can't be happy if u can't trust someone.
"
THIS WAS KAT'S ANSWER, HOW GENERIC, THANKS KAT.

THE RIGHT ANSWER IS "TRAPPINESS"
IT'S A PLACE YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE YOUR BALLS ARE IN A VICE UNDER HER BED AND YOU PRETTY MUCH HAVE NO REAL THOUGHTS OF YOUR OWN AND YOUR BALLS ALSO HURT A WHOLE LOT.



Is it okay to kiss people when you're single?
KISS WHERE?

AND

PEOPLE IMPLYING MORE THAN ONE?

...SLUT!


Have you met someone who is amazing?

EVERYDAY WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

ALSO WHEN I RE-READ MY OWN QUIZZES I THINK...
"WHO WROTE THIS AMAZING PIECE OF LITERATURE WHICH REALLY SHOULD BE ARCHIVED?"


Its 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who is it?
THE 4AM WAKE UP CALL GUY.


OR POSSIBLY GOD, FINALLY RETURNING MY CALLS, I THINK THAT PRICK IS AVOIDING ME.


Do you like competition?
DEPENDS WHAT IT'S FOR...
I MEAN IF IT WERE 2 HOT BISEXUAL FEMALES OF CONSENTING AGE FIGHTING OVER WHO WOULD HAVE THEIR WAY WITH ME FIRST, THEN YEAH THAT'S A COMPETITION I COULD GET BEHIND, THEN ON TOP, THEN UNDER... BUT ANYWAY IF IT WERE SAY... A COMPETITION IN CABBAGE PATCH SNATCHING OR OSH KOSH B'GOSHIN' I DON'T THINK THAT'S A COMPETITION I WOULD BE VERY INTO.



Have you ever hugged a complete stranger?
WHY ARE YOU SO INTERESTED IN ME AND WHO I'VE HUGGED ALL OF A SUDDEN? LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU'VE HUGGED LATELY, YOU'RE JUST GIVING AWAY HUGS, DO THEY NOT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?!?!
HOW LONG UNTIL YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER HUGGER OUT ON THE STREET GIVING AWAY HUGS FOR CRACK?


Does seeing couples in love make you mad?
NO WHAT WOULD BUM ME OUT THOUGH WAS IF I DIDN'T HAVE A DICK AND I WAS FORCED TO WATCH PORNO ALL DAY.

OH MAN, THAT'D SUCK.

BY THE WAY, HOW GOOD IS CHROMEO, SERIOUSLY?!?

Have you ever felt like you literally needed someone?
WELL YEAH, IF I NEED SOMEONE TO CLEAN MY HOUSE AND SHE'S NOT HERE (YES, IT'S A SHE LOL) THEN MY HOUSE ISN'T GETTING CLEANED.

SO THAT'S A REALLY DUMB QUESTION.



Last song played more than three times?
SOMETHING SUPERGAY.



Last time you were really happy?
WHEN I HAD CASHHHHHH.

BECAUSE REALLY, LET'S FACE IT, NOBODY REALLY MATTERS BUT
C.R.E.A.M.



When do you want to die?
WHEN I CAN'T REMEMBER SHIT ANYMORE OR WHEN I CAN'T LOOK AFTER MYSELF, WAIT, SHOULD'NT THAT MEAN I SHOULD DIE RIGHT NOW?


Does someone love you?
SOMEONE?
MORE LIKE FUCKING EVERYONE.



Do you like to cuddle?
DIDN'T WE GO OVER THIS BULLSHIT ALREADY.


CUDDLE/COKEWHORE...


Are you ticklish?
YES, I'M ALSO COVERED IN RED HAIR AND I START TO VIBRATE IF YOU TICKLE ME ENOUGH.





What's on your bedroom floor?
A PLACE FOR FRIENDS...
NO, WAIT, THAT'S MYSPACE.


When's the next time you will kiss somebody?
NEXT TIME I CAN CONVINCE A GIRL THAT I'M A SECRET AGENT/CELEBRITY/ASTRONAUT/SOMETHING EQUALLY AS AWESOME THAT SHE'LL NEVER GET THE CHANCE TO MAKE OUT WITH AGAIN.



Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?
IF I DIDN'T WHY WOULDNT I JUST BUY A CREW NECK?
PLUS JESUS SAID IT'S COOL, AND THAT'S HOW WE ROLLIN'


Have you held hands with anybody in the past week?
WHY WOULD I DO THAT?!
SERIOUSLY, WHY WOULD I EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT?


Where is the person you have feelings for right now?
PROBABLY PASSED OUT IN THE SEWER AND MEETING A GIANT FISH AND FUCKING IT'S BRAINS OUT.



Do you want any tattoos?
YES, I HOPE TO ONE DAY GET A TATTOO OF THE MOST AMAZING THING ANYONE HAS EVER SEEN, OH WAIT.



Do you wish that you were somewhere else right now?
SHIT YEAH, I WISH I WAS HUNG OVER RIGHT NOW CAUSE THAT'D MEAN I HAD A FUCKING GREAT NIGHT LAST NIGHT.


Have you ever slept in a car?
I ONCE FELL ASLEEP IN A CAR WHILE I WAS DRIVING IT, GOOD TIMES.

HOW DID THAT STORY END YOU ASK? WELL IT'S A SAD ENDING, I DIED.


Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
PLEASE SEE MY MYSPACE PICS PROBABLY IN THE NEWCASTLE FOLDER.



Do you think relationships are ever worth it?
WORTH WHAT?
GOLD? SILVER? CASH MONEY?
GIVING UP PLAYING WoW?


Connection between you and the last person who text messaged you?
WE ARE FROM THE SAME TOWN AND HE DATES A FRIEND OF MINE, NOW I SEE/HANG OUT WITH HIM MORE THAN I DO MY FRIEND.



Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you?
THE DEBT COLLECTOR.



Today, would you rather go forward a week or back a week?
BACK A WEEK, BECAUSE LAST WEEKEND WAS A SWEET PARTY.



Has someone ever told you they would love you forever?
NOBODY'S THAT SILLY, EVERYONE KNOWS THEY CAN ONLY LOVE ME FOR A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME BEFORE THEY HATE ME.


Are you a forgiving person?
WAS JESUS A FORGIVING PERSON?
NO, HE LET A BUNCH OF MOTHERFUCKERS CRUCIFY HIM BECAUSE HE HATED THE WORLD SO MUCH.


How old is your boyfriend/ girlfriend?
I PRACTICE POLYGAMY AND HAVE 6 GIRLFRIENDS AND THEY WILL ALL BE TURNING 22 NEXT WEDNESDAY.



Have you thought about an ex today?
YEAH, SHE'S BUYING ME PHO ON SUNDAY, SHIT YEAH!


Would you date someone who lived in another state?
YEAH, I'M ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT DATING SOMEONE ON THE SPACE STATION TOO.


When's the last time you said you were fine, but really weren't?
WHEN I GOT BITTEN BY A ZOMBIE TYPE CREATURE AND GOT INFECTED.

I WOKE UP AS MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ THAT MORNING, STRANGE DAY.



Do you consider yourself lucky?
NO, IF I WAS LEGITIMATELY LUCKY I WOULD WIN ON THE POKIES EVERY TIME.



Do you believe in karma?
DO I BELIEVE IN JESUS?


Are you okay with the life you live?
MY WHOLE CREW IS LOUNGIN', CELEBRATIN' EVERYDAY, NO MORE PUBLIC HOUSIN'!


Last person you told a secret to?
WHY?
SO YOU CAN STRING THEM UP AND BEAT IT OUT OF THEM?!
I WOULD, SECRETS ARE GREAT!


Do you live with "ghetto" people in your neighborhood?

NAH IT'S PRETTY CHILL, I MEAN MY BIN GETS LIT ON FIRE AND MY WINDOWS GET SMASHED NIGHTLY BUT IT'S COOL.


If you were getting married tomorrow, do you know who'd be your best man?
PROBABLY PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN.



Do you give up easily?
SURE.



Where do you go when you want to be alone?
who fucking cares.



Did you enjoy your summer?
IT WAS SEVEN MONTHS LONG AND I SPENT HALF OF IT IN AMERICA, YOU DECIDE!

Your ex runs into you and hugs you, what do you do?
YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS QUIZ IS SO STUPID THAT ON SUNDAY WHEN WE HANG OUT IF SHE HUGS ME I'LL SCREAM STRANGER DANGER AND RUN AWAY AND...ahh fuck it why am i still filling this shit out?


Would you ever consider adoption?
SURE, I THINK I'M TOO OLD TO BE ADOPTED NOW THOUGH?

Think back 5 months ago, were you single?
YES, WHY IS THIS RELEVANT?


Is it easy to make you smile?
BOURBON, COKE, TERRIBLE MUSIC.

PERFECT SMILE FORMULA!


Do you have a bad habit?
BAD HABIT OF BEING TOO AWESOME.



Would you date someone taller than you?
NO, STRAIGHT OUT FUCK THAT.

HOW ABOUT YOU DATE SOMEONE TALLER THAN YOU?


Something surprising happen to you today?
NOT SURPRISING JUST AWESOME.

NOT GOING INTO DETAIL BECAUSE REALLY IT DOESN'T MATTER.



Are you a loud person?
I HAVE ONE VOLUME WHEN DRUNK... PAAAARRRTTTTYYYYYY!


Was this New Years enjoyable?
YEAH, NOT TOO BAD.

GOOD FRIENDS, GOOD BOOZE.




What were you almost named?
JIMMY CRACK CORN.




What time did you wake up this morning, why?
8AM, HAD TO DRIVE CRISTIAN TO THE STATION, MOTHERFUCCKKKERRRR!

Who is you're best friend?
I HAVE A FRIEND IN JESUS.







THIS IS WHERE THIS CONVERSATION ENDS...
I DO ANOTHER QUIZ THE NEXT DAY WHICH WASN'T AS AWESOME AND THE CONVERSATION CONTINUES...


Cass, seriously, when was the last time I even saw you?

HIMYM IS AMAZING.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: CASSANDRA.
To: STRIP LIMBO
Date: 16 Apr 2009, 04:34 PM
Subject: RE: I got so desperate I rolled someone today.


WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN FOR LIKE THE LAST ALMOST A YEAR?!
WALKING AROUND WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED OVER? (LOL QUIZ REF XD)

is how i met your mother good?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: STRIP LIMBO
To: CASSANDRA.
Date: 16 Apr 2009, 04:31 PM
Subject: RE: I got so desperate I rolled someone today.


ARE YOU GOING OUT WITH CHOG?????????????

IF SO, I LEGITIMATELY KNOW... NOTHING.

HAGGARD IS LIFE.

REMEMBER WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY AND I'LL READ THIS AGAIN LATORZ, I'M GOING TO WATCH HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER SEASON 4.
PEACE OUT, SHAMU! (AND YES I DID JUST CALL YOU A KILLER WHALE)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: CASSANDRA.
To: STRIP LIMBO
Date: 16 Apr 2009, 04:24 PM
Subject: RE: I got so desperate I rolled someone today.


chog.
do you know nothing?

i haven't actually watched haggard in like three years, AND i own it. i should watch it again.

i was going to say something else but i forgot..

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: STRIP LIMBO
To: CASSANDRA.
Date: 16 Apr 2009, 04:15 PM
Subject: RE: I got so desperate I rolled someone today.


I don't even know who Christopher is, let alone ask him for permission to do ANYTHING.
And also I'm so glad you got that reference, I was worried it would fall to the wayside.

I NEED ANOTHER QUIZ TO DO!
i might actually post the quiz on MY blog so the appreciators of true awesomeness can revel in my amazing-ness.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: CASSANDRA.
To: STRIP LIMBO
Date: 16 Apr 2009, 04:05 PM
Subject: RE: I got so desperate I rolled someone today.


ASK CHRISTOPHER FOR PERMISHUNZ LOL

i also forgot to mention the line from haggard you cleverly used in your quiz. oh me.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: STRIP LIMBO
To: CASSANDRA.
Date: 16 Apr 2009, 04:01 PM
Subject: RE: I got so desperate I rolled someone today.


I love you too Cassandra, wanna date?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: CASSANDRA.
To: STRIP LIMBO
Date: 16 Apr 2009, 01:54 PM
Subject: RE: I got so desperate I rolled someone today.


if you weren't so good at being clever when it comes to answering quizzes to kill the copious amounts of time you have on your hands at the moment, i may not have suppressed the urge to throw a shoe at your head.

i think i enjoyed the second half of the quiz the most, particularly when your caps lock appeared to be stuck.
i can also imagine you yelling out 'THATS NEXT WEEK YOU FUCKS' irl.

and i know you enjoy lurking my blog, you smart mouthed twerp.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: STRIP LIMBO
To: CASSANDRA.
Date: 16 Apr 2009, 01:40 PM
Subject: RE: I got so desperate I rolled someone today.


I think my favourite answer is the one about the panda riding the bike over a bridge.

i'm pretty clever.

And you know what, you should print this out take a photo of it and then post it on your blog, then you wont be doing anything out of the ordinary and you stay the same old boring, photo posting, Cass.

:)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: CASSANDRA.
To: STRIP LIMBO
Date: 16 Apr 2009, 12:59 PM
Subject: RE: I got so desperate I rolled someone today.


i just read it again.
i think i laughed even more the second time around.

i should post the quiz on my blog amongst the photos.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: STRIP LIMBO
To: CASSANDRA.
Date: 16 Apr 2009, 12:02 PM
Subject: RE: I got so desperate I rolled someone today.


I re-read it just then and realised how amazing I actually am.

Please read all future quizzes because they will all be in the same vein as this one so hopefully I can teach people not to take themselves so seriously.

Thank you for your time,
now go post some more photos of stuff in your blog.

-AJ

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: CASSANDRA.
To: STRIP LIMBO
Date: 16 Apr 2009, 08:40 AM
Subject: I got so desperate I rolled someone today.


XD
good quiz

----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: STRIP LIMBO
To:
Date: 15 Apr 2009, 06:34 PM
Subject: I got so desperate I rolled someone today.


Plans for tonight?
JUST BE SUPER AWESOME.


Think back to June, were you in a relationship?
Yes, we broke up because I'm a scientologist, she couldn't deal with it.


Whose hoodie did you wear last?
Jesus' (Yes, true, I do hang with Jesus, he's a Scientologist too, he also wears awesome hoodies)

Do you know anyone who drinks a lot?
Yeah, and those same people piss a lot too.


Did you like anyone last summer?
The last 7 months have been summer for me, i'm killin' it.


When was the last time you went camping?
The last time I was on oxford street.


How is your life lately?
Trill, though hating unemployment.


Where is the person you want to kiss right now?
I have no idea where Lily Allen or Rihanna are right now, hopefully kissing each other.


Could you go out in public, looking like you do now?
I did this morning, Spanish Bombs FOR REAL!

What color are your eyes?
Rainbow.


Where will your next kiss take place?
Under the moonlight sky, while taking a ride in a horse and carriage, with a man.


Do you sleep with your door open or closed?
closed over.


Do you always get along with your friends?
yeah our lives are actually like a sit-com we live across the hall from one and other and there's always something crazy happening to one of us.


Who makes you happiest?
Jailbait.



Whens your birthday?
22nd April.
(THAT'S NEXT WEEK YOU FUCKS)

Something you're looking forward to in the next month?
A job?
whether it be a hand job or a job with the government.


How often do you hold back what you want to say?
most of the time but one time my son wished I wouldn't lie when he blew out his candles so for 24 hours I said exactly what was on my mind, it was torture, i should have belted the kid.



What are you doing tomorrow?
starring in a gay porno.




Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
sure.


Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
Wouldn't count on it.


Is the last person you kissed mad at you?
who cares, i'm awesome.


Would you ever get a tattoo?
would a panda ever ride a bike over a bridge?

How many piercings do you have?
14 at last count.


Day been rough?
If waking up at midday, and spending the rest of my life being awesome is rough then yeah my day has been FUCKED.


Do you dye your hair?
yeah but my balls started to burn, so I stopped.


When you say you don't care, do you mean it?
NO, I ACTUALLY CRY ON THE INSIDE.



Do you know anyone who has messed up your life?
Morpheus, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO OPEN MY EYES TO THE TRUTH? WHY DID YOU MAKE ME FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT?
WHY COULDN'T YOU LET ME LEAD A LIFE OF IGNORANCE?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, FUCK!


Is something bothering you right now?
WHO GAVE PATRICK HERNANDEZ A RECORD DEAL!?!
WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?
PLEASE SHOOT YOUR DICK OFF RIGHT NOW.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Would you go back in time to change something?
YEAH I WOULD TRY OUT FOR FALL OUT BOY.



Have you ever read Twilight?
YEAH AND THEN I JERKED OFF STALEFISH TO GAY PORN.




What pisses you off more than anything?
PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE WHINEY PEOPLE.


What happened at 9?
A.M.? WHO FUCKING CARES.


What was the last thing you said out loud?
"WHAT STUPID SHIT HAS THAT RETARD POSTED NOW?"

Are you afraid of the dark?
Which episode?

Has anyone put their arm around you in the past 5 days?
There was that dude in that tunnel but I left the oven on at home so i couldn't hang around to find out what he wanted.


In the past week have you felt sad?
Sad like "aww my boyfriend broke up with me after I lost my virginity to him" or sad like "I'm pretty sure there's cum on my new favourite dress"??

Did you go outside for more than 30 minutes today?
FUCK NO!

Do you have a best friend that knows you inside and out?
Sometimes I feel like me and Elton John are besties.

The wheels are in motion.

Today I went to inquire about doing volunteer work as a Youth Worker.
This has been something on my "to-do" list for a long time, they gave me the contacts I needed to get on track and actually get into a role like this.

I've been wasting away on 'The Dole' for too long now, hopefully with something like this I will actually be doing something productive and getting to somewhere I really want to be in life instead of managing a fucking fast-food restaurant until the end of forever.

Initiative/Motivation/Positivity

Shit feels good.


And tomorrow another day of "Job-Search Training" and another day of boredom, frustration and a constant reminder that I hate everyone.

QUPDATE.

So I've been pretty chill on the blog-posting front.
But I decided it's time for a quick update on my uninteresting, unemployed life.

The Last four weeks have been great, everyday Tim and I go to a centrelink appointed "Job Search Training" course at Salvation Army Employment Plus Lake Haven everyday and we have to turn up for at least twelve days or our payments get cut-off and as sad and desperate as that sounds we actually need them.
The course goes from Monday to Thursday, 9.30am - 1.30pm, So all in all I really should only be there for three weeks.

This is now my 7th week, Awesome.

Living on the dole sucks.

Also just to prove I don't sit around waiting for jobs to come to me, here's just one night...

RUINED.

Just came home from our 2nd practice this week, we've successfully learned 6 covers in 2 days.
I'm actually really proud of the dudes at the moment, normally our productivity is in reverse and it will take 3 hours to just bang out one set or 3 weeks to finish writing one song or sometimes 3 months to get around to learning a cover and somehow we actually managed to smash through SIX FUCKING COVERS in 2 days.
Now all we've got to do is play them live without completely fucking them up.

So after all this I'm totally fucked.

also i'm annoyed, but that's another story.

I talk way too much about things that won't happen.

I decided next time my band plays I'm going to stand perfectly still and stare into the microphone while I sing.
I wonder If anyone will say anything to me after?
like "hey good set, man!"

If you don't want to be somewhere saying(singing) something, should you fake it?
Or even better, If you don't believe you should be on a stage screaming bullshit into peoples faces should you lead them to believe you want to be there? Probably not, I don't think it's fair that if you don't believe your own bullshit why should you make anyone else?

I don't get bands, don't get people who watch bands.

On another note I've been invited to an open day for a company that might want me to work for them in Bondi.
Hopefully this puts me on my way to getting down to Sydney.

Yesterday a friend told me she's moving to Melbourne soon, kinda sucks but greener grass, hey? etc etc.

I'm halfway through MY name is Earl season 3.

My Top 5...

only a few people will understand this.

1.


2.


3.


4.


5.

ANOTHER UPDATE AS TO WHERE I'M AT.

MY THROAT FEELS LIKE A GOLF BALL IS LODGED INSIDE IT, FUCK!

So, the tour is over which was so far from a success it's not even funny.
This was supposed to be our 7" launch tour which we didn't actually 7"s for, mistake number one.
the shows we played were all in the middle of nowhere, mistake number two.
We sold next to nothing, which meant we all needed to pull out of pocket for petrol and van hire. Normally something like that wouldn't bother me too much but right now I'm unemployed and that's not by choice so I'm getting the dole or (Newstart: job seeker allowance) which only pays so much a fortnight, I mean it's pretty good for free money but I'm in a lot of fucking debt from my trip which is still causing me grief, I owe money on my credit card, my car, I'm also trying to put petrol in that fucker, Paying board and god forbid I'm trying to stay sane by having a bit of a social life.
So having to fork out nearly a good $200 for something when i make less than that a week isn't exactly the funnest thing in the world.
Anyway I'm not going to lie, the tour was fun as fuck and I'm pretty bummed to be home again, and it bums me out even more that we're so unorganised and slow moving that it probably won't happen again for another year, that's if the band's even still together. (I apologize for my lack of faith in the band's future, but considering the past, the future looks pretty bleak)

The First show of the tour outside of Sydney being Pepper's house was the funnest show I have ever played (probably apart from Ruiner). We all drank all day and just partied on until we played last playing the drunkest set ever.
I had gained quite a bit of sunburn on my neck and shoulders from wearing a singlet all day so my asshole Melbourne friends decided it was a good idea to slap my sunburn while we played, they also thought it was awesome to wedgie the fuck out of me until the waistband on my briefs pretty much ripped right off, awesome.
During the last song Matt breaks a string and thinks it's a good idea to sing the song too all the while moshing into my fucking face near knocking me out, i walked out of the room mid song and spewed.
After the show we chilled for a bit, I sobered up and the we headed out to Bang! for a night filled with pure raging!

The Next day we drove out to Geelong to play a show with Wish For Wings where about 25 kids showed up, awesome! We load our gear in and get our wristbands and we're all quite hung over from the festivities the night before so we grab some KFC from around to corner to ease the pain, we chill there for a while and as we get back we get told we were supposed to be setting up our gear 5 minutes ago, we haven't even sussed gear to borrow yet, so we get told we can't play anymore by the fuckwit sound guy with an even more fuckwit haircut (i actually said "cool" and was ready to go home because I didn't want to play anyway).
We track down the dude who booked the show, Benny and we ask him what's going on and he ends up being a fucking champion of a dude and tells us to sort out our gear and set up real quick and we'll be right to play, we get it done as quick as our hung-over bodies can and play a 5 song set with as little personality as possible while i apologise between every song for being late etc. We get off stage and end up hanging outside the show for the rest of it and we get to have a chat with Benny and we tell him we cam all the way to Melbourne for 2 shows so he tells us that one of the bands pulled out of the show tomorrow in sheparton that wings are playing and he needs a replacement, the show is on the way home anyway but we planned to start heading home at 8am not 8pm when we'd finish playing.
3 of us didn't want to play the show because we were all keen to get back to sydney to go to the boys of summer show but 2 of us said it was a better idea to play the show because we needed the money, we ended up saying "fuck it!" and playing the show, which was in a backwater ass-fuck of a town with absolutely no idea about anything, we played to about 15 kids and sold maybe 2 or 3 shirts... (WOOOO! it was really worth missing Verse for, Hey at least we made 50 bucks off the door too!)

Drove home after the show and got to my house at 10:30am the next day, felt good to be out of the van.

We were home for 3 days before we head out again to QLD.
we go the latest start ever and didn't end up leaving nelson's bay (where we picked up Jason and Alvin) until 6:30pm we ended up getting into the Gold Coast/Sam's shed at 3:30am, we hung out for a while with Greg, who was nice enough to hang around and meet us at the shed and then we all crashed.
We got up at about 10:30 and headed to the beach where i spewed in the water due to McDonald's and Beer and then getting dumped by the waves.
We headed to Pacific Fair shopping centre to meet Scrad and Anna (two of the best fucking humans you will ever meet) they jump in the van and we head to Expressive Grounds which is a cool venue and all all the bands that played were fucking awesome, Especially The Farewell and Ghost Town, straight up raging fucking bands, it really sucked playing after either of them.
After the show we head to Brisbane to Anna's place and all get a little drunk and ate some pizza and showered (not to sure on the actual order of that).
We head out to Thriller and meet up with the A Silent Fiction dudes and fuck it's awesome to see friendly faces from home in a far away place.
Alvin and I take full advantage of the 2 Corona's for $10 deal and my body isn't keen, i wasn't even drunk but i ended up spewing all over my shirt, fucking night ruiner.
Matt, Owen and Jason all bail home and 2:30/3am and Me, Alvin, Anna & Scrad keep raging until 4 or 5.
We all get up for the show the next day which we're supposed to arrive to at 10:30am, we end up leaving Anna's at 10:30.
We get to the show I ignore the first few bands and go get food with Alvin and Anna, We get back in time to catch The Farewell play as a 3 piece because the drummer had to work and the bass player couldn't make it? so tom the singer played guitar and sang, the guitarist played bass and the other guitarist sam played drums, talented bunch of fuckers aren't they?
Ghost Town played straight after and absolutely killed it and it fucking sucked playing after them.

We drove back to Anna's after the show, drank beers and went for a swim then watched Gran Torino (fucking awesome movie)!
Chris GB also came over to chill for a bit and ended up hanging out with us until 3am, fuck it was good to see him again!
So we crashed at around 3:30 then had to rise at about 8, I wake up with the sorest throat in history and a cold. I walk down to 7/11 and spend a tonne of money on cold and flu tablets, panadol and vitamin water(my favourite drink).
None of it does me any good, i just had to sit in the back of the van and try to sleep it off, 12 hours or so later I'm home and I still feel fucked and just feeling bummed that I'm back in the place I'm trying to get away from.
So after the Tour I made some new friends and Lost a bunch of money, pretty sure that constitutes a good time, right? Friends and less money? Yeah, let's run with that.

So now I'm home with a sore throat, no money, no job and lots of time on my hands.
I've applied for a good 20-25 jobs today in the city and hopefully one of them comes through for me because I really want to move down there in the next few weeks.

anyway here's some pics from the tour.
Worlds Apart with Awesome QLD kids Anna and Scrad


Me and Liz DTPF.


Liz took this picture of me at Pepper's house


Worlds Apart with Oldsmoke and Sweet Pep at Dryburgh Street


Party dudes Alvin and Scrad.